My First Blog

Well I finally did it. I have been thinking about setting up a blog for quite some time and here I am. I just came across an old friend Eric's blog last week and thought what the hey! I guess I shall post my thoughts for the day...........
Guess I don't have much to think about. j/k Ok well I guess first off I am very glad that my family is doing well health wise. I was Fullmetal Alchemist (鋼の錬金術師, Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) today and the second episode always gets me. My little niece was watching it with me and she was not affected by it at all. LOL guess I am a softie. Basically the two kids, who are the main characters, loose their mom when they are very young. I just kept thinking what in the world would I do if that were to ever happen to me? It was pretty sad, yet of course, the main characters go about trying to resurrect their mother which of course leads to the entire plot for the series. I guess life is a lot like that. Sometimes it is just one decision that can define our entire lives, and sometimes it can be a very simple decision. Which was not the case in the story of course. Then there are times where it is a case where we are haunted by the decisions we make and therefore feel compelled into a certain life of choices that we ourselves imprison ourselves into. I think about that at times when I look back at my life. I have done stupid stuff, we all have. There were times in my life where I felt compelled to live my life in defilement of those decisions. Yet as I get older I have no regrets other than the paths and choices I didn’t take. I remember being a very young boy and meeting an elderly man. He had all sorts of crazy things to tell me that an adult probably should not be telling to a child. However there were some things I walked away with that I will probably remember for the rest of my life. He lived in a retirement home and was near the end of his life, so he spoke not from some sort of philosophical view, he spoke from experience through and through. Towards the end of our conversation I remember him turning to look out the window, and a silence almost permeated the room. The kind of silence that told you, something profound was about to happen. He began to look at a tree that was in the distance and you could almost feel his thoughts of how it was him that was actually in the distance. His eyes got moist and he said, "As you get older it is not the decisions you make that end up haunting you for the rest of your life, it is the decisions and choices in life you didn't make." I really mulled that over in my little brain. I wanted to ask him what it was that he hadn't done. Especially since he told me about soooooo many things he had done that, well were well beyond the scope of what a child under 12 should ever hear. I decided not to, I felt that whatever it was needn't be said. Sometime in another post I will have to tell you some of the stuff that old man said, but as I begin to get older I see even more wisdom in that statement. It isn't the choices I made that haunt me, it is the choices I didn't make that seem to weigh heavy on me. Sometimes it is the simple things, such as not saying I love you when I talk to my mom on the phone, or the time I forget to hug and kiss my son before I leave the house. Something so simple, yet so profound. I think about all of the people that died on Sept. 11'th. How many of those people had unfinished arguments with the ones they loved before they left the house. How many got in their cars, realized that they hadn't kissed their spouse or kids; instead of going back in the house just thought no big deal, I will see them later. Sometimes later never comes. Something for everyone to think about. Anyways now that I probably depressed anyone who might stumble across this blog, I am going to go hug my son, kiss my wife, and tell my family I love them.