Feeling beat down by life.

Well last night was frustrating as H E double hockey sticks. I have redone the floor in our front bathroom a total of three times, and it looks like I will have to do it again for a fourth time. The flange on the toilet leaked again and the floor looks pretty bad. Its just frustrating. It seems like no matter how hard you try, something are just doomed to happen. I removed the toilet and ripped out part of the floor last night to let it dry out. It will probably take a long time for it to dry out but the floor is pretty moldy. After ripping up what I did I decided to take a shower. I felt just so beat down. I walked into the shower and said God is Good but I just didn’t feel it. Doesn’t mean he isn’t. I mean in the grand scheme of things it is a pretty minor thing. I don’t have the time, or money to fix it, it may take a year to get it fixed, but at least we still have one working bathroom. There was a time where we didn’t even have that. I just get so tired of living below the poverty line, and it just seems that life isn’t getting any easier, nor is there any chance of it letting up. Yet as my wife said to me, “It could be worse.” I love her so much for keeping an optimistic outlook on life, and she is right. It could be worse. She also told me, “it could have happened at a worse time.” Again she is right, however I don’t think that there ever is a right time for things like that to happen. Why is it so hard however to acknowledge that my life is so much better than others out there? Why is it I focus more on how much better other peoples lives seem? I wish I knew, but I guess my sin is coveting. I think about how I have food. I am actually able to eat at least one square meal a day, sometimes two. Most people out there don’t even get that much. I have a wife who loves me, a son who is extremely healthy and hasn’t had any of the ailments that I had to deal with as a toddler, which has helped us out financially. I can’t imagine having to pay out large sums of money I don’t have on healthcare. I guess I need to look at this as an opportunity to praise God and show him that I am capable of handling more of his blessings. I need to get into the mindset that what has happened is an opportunity for God to do something amazing. I need to not just say God is great, but feel it as well. I need to remember that my God is more than the God of my circumstances. In the end it is all stuff anyways. It is stuff that is not even really mine, everything I have, I have because God has given it to me to hold in trust. Well I guess that this is still an opportunity not lost, I still have time to change my attitude as long as I still have breath in my lungs. I guess I will close with something my Buddy Myles told me a few years ago. He told me that we are like swords, and in life we will always face troubles. These troubles will either grind us down or polish us up and sharpen us. It is up to us the angle we want to take to the grinding stone. Will we angle ourselves to be sharpend and polished, or will we resist it and be ground down.